Joy in the Journey

This is a bit of a departure for me from my normal blogging. I hope to return to it soon, but this has to be said.

This past week I had my 25 year class reunion. It was amazing to get back together with people that I shared a common bond with in my former life. Many of my classmates I had known since 6th grade. Now that the weekend is over I am left with an ache and a longing that I have not experienced in prior reunions. I have been trying to put my finger on exactly what the problem is but I am not sure if I have or not.

I feel like I did a poor job this past weekend of showing my friends that I love them. Maybe that is a problem we have every day that only surfaces when we are around people we do not see very often. There is no anger over the past, no envy of others successes, but how do you communicate that without sounding like you are apologizing for a crime you may not have committed? I am just happy to see you. I am glad that you are around and that we have this common bond.

When I was in high school, I was very insecure in who I was. I was constantly looking and searching for approval from others. It is part of me that still has not died completely but at least now I am comfortable with who I am. Life has humbled me. I know now that I am not as good as I had hoped to be but I am content with who I am.

So what? This is probably what you are wondering about now. Maybe I can tie everything together so I can get my point across and end the ache in my chest (although compassion is a good thing). It was truly my joy to see each and every one of you this weekend. I love you guys and look forward to the next time we see each other. I wish I could be as bold in person as I am on my laptop, but unfortunately I am still pretty retarded socially around those that knew me before.

There are many of you that I spoke with this weekend that have left an indelible mark in my life. That may sound laughable from a few hours on a Friday and Saturday but it is true. Trust that you are one of them. I am glad to know you. Until next time.

Bruce