Friday, July 6, 2012

I am the One Who's Wrong- God Forgive Me

It has been far too long since I last posted a blog. I could make excuses but I won’t bother- I have simply not been motivated enough to write. This post has been long forming in my head and if I don’t get it down soon it may wander off somewhere else. I hope I do it justice.

Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22)

This is a hard teaching for me and one that I am struggling with mightily. Within this and the ensuing parable we see a picture of grace that is somewhat reciprocal in nature. We, who have been forgiven much, should be willing to forgive the (comparatively) little slights that we endure in this life. Unfortunately, I have had to learn this lesson the hard way as is so often the case for me. Let me explain.

Over the past couple of years, the road that I have been on was not what I anticipated it would be. To say that it has been difficult spiritually would be an understatement. A series of events led me to leave the local church that I had been serving at for several years. Believe it or not, this may have been the single most difficult thing I have done in my life because I love the church that I had to leave, and the reasons that I left had to do with my responsibilities as a husband and father.

Since I left, I have been amazed at the love and compassion that I have been shown on my return visits. There are so many people there that are the embodiment of what the Church should be and I am thankful for that reminder in my life- for without it I am not sure that I could continue to walk in faith. These dear friends understand and embrace the above scripture far better than I can (and have) and I thank God for that. You forgave me well before I was aware of a need for forgiveness and that is what the Church should be like. This is what I need to hold on to and focus on as I move forward in life rather than focusing on the negative.

We all want to be the one on the receiving end of forgiveness. For ourselves we want mercy and for others we want and demand justice and fail to see the contradiction in our own lives. We are quick to pass judgment on others while failing to see our own hypocrisy. We see a problem in another person’s life and we try them without knowing the facts and sentence them without a hint of grace. They are guilty so we condemn them, ostracize them, ignore them, or unfriend them on facebook. Where is the forgiveness- and can somebody help me with the plank in my eye?

While enjoying the grace of being forgiven I have held some anger at a perceived wrong. Perhaps I have held onto the anger to justify my feelings of righteousness- but whatever reasons I may have had are insufficient for me to carry it any further.