I am the One Who's Wrong- God Forgive Me

It has been far too long since I last posted a blog. I could make excuses but I won’t bother- I have simply not been motivated enough to write. This post has been long forming in my head and if I don’t get it down soon it may wander off somewhere else. I hope I do it justice.

Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22)

This is a hard teaching for me and one that I am struggling with mightily. Within this and the ensuing parable we see a picture of grace that is somewhat reciprocal in nature. We, who have been forgiven much, should be willing to forgive the (comparatively) little slights that we endure in this life. Unfortunately, I have had to learn this lesson the hard way as is so often the case for me. Let me explain.

Over the past couple of years, the road that I have been on was not what I anticipated it would be. To say that it has been difficult spiritually would be an understatement. A series of events led me to leave the local church that I had been serving at for several years. Believe it or not, this may have been the single most difficult thing I have done in my life because I love the church that I had to leave, and the reasons that I left had to do with my responsibilities as a husband and father.

Since I left, I have been amazed at the love and compassion that I have been shown on my return visits. There are so many people there that are the embodiment of what the Church should be and I am thankful for that reminder in my life- for without it I am not sure that I could continue to walk in faith. These dear friends understand and embrace the above scripture far better than I can (and have) and I thank God for that. You forgave me well before I was aware of a need for forgiveness and that is what the Church should be like. This is what I need to hold on to and focus on as I move forward in life rather than focusing on the negative.

We all want to be the one on the receiving end of forgiveness. For ourselves we want mercy and for others we want and demand justice and fail to see the contradiction in our own lives. We are quick to pass judgment on others while failing to see our own hypocrisy. We see a problem in another person’s life and we try them without knowing the facts and sentence them without a hint of grace. They are guilty so we condemn them, ostracize them, ignore them, or unfriend them on facebook. Where is the forgiveness- and can somebody help me with the plank in my eye?

While enjoying the grace of being forgiven I have held some anger at a perceived wrong. Perhaps I have held onto the anger to justify my feelings of righteousness- but whatever reasons I may have had are insufficient for me to carry it any further.

A Light in the Darkness

When I was in college there were a series of tunnels that ran underneath the campus. These tunnels carried steam to heat the buildings and supply hot water. Although it was against school policy there were many times when I used these tunnels to get from one place to another especially if it was very cold. The real danger in using the tunnels was that it was often dark and you could easily stumble while walking and accidentally reach out and touch one of the steam pipes. Touching the pipes would result in severe burns as I learned on more than one occasion. The key while walking in the dark was not to stumble or else you would get zapped.

As a general rule in Old Testament times, the same held true for the Israelites and their relationship with God. If they stumbled they got zapped. A good example of this can be found in Joshua Chapter 7 where we learn about Achan. Achan coveted and stole a few items from Jericho that were supposed to be consecrated to God. For this he was stoned.

This happened shortly after the Israelites had spent 40 years wandering in the desert. The doubters of Moses’ generation had all died in the desert prior to them entering the Promised Land. The people that were left had all been provided for by God. He had been their pillar of cloud by day and pillar of fire by night to guide their every step. He had provided them with the manna and guided their decisions. If ever there was a time when people were going to trust in God this was the time; and yet Achan failed. Unfortunately for the Israelites this was not an isolated incident but the beginning of a trend. God would forgive them and provide and they would turn away and fail and get zapped.

I guess there are a couple of ways that you could read these passages and unfortunately many people today have not learned from the Israelites and Achan. They read this passage and see the need for us to be perfect. We must do better than Achan or God will zap us. Don’t get me wrong- there is a definite call to holiness and I am not making light of that but counting on our own perfection will only lead to death. We can not obtain the perfection that we aspire to or that we need to be righteous on our own. We need a guide.

On one particularly cold night at college when I was returning from the other side of campus I went through the tunnels with a friend of mine that used them all the time. He knew the tunnels better than anybody I knew. We came up to an extended passage where the lights had been knocked out and it was pitch black. I did not see how I could make it through the passage without getting burned and then my friend turned to me and told me to hold on to him. He knew the way through the dark and as long as I held on to him I would be fine.

Often when we read a passage like the one in Joshua we are left with a feeling of hopelessness. There is no way we can make it through life without stumbling. The passage is long and dark and there are many obstacles along the way that can trip us up. One misstep and we will fall. However we still have hope even in the darkness. John tells us that Jesus is the true light that shines in the darkness and that the darkness has not overcome this light. In our darkest times our hope is not going to be found in our own righteousness but in holding on to the one who knows the way. As long as we hold on to Him we will be fine.

Chains, blood, death, and unworthiness

Perhaps we have lost our way…

I was reading Mark Chapter 5 the other day and I made what seemed to me to be an unusual discovery. Maybe I am mistaken. Perhaps there is nothing at all unusual about it.

When I left home and went to college when I was 18 I was looking for acceptance. In the world of an 18 year old there may be nothing that is more important than that. What I found when I got there was rejection in many forms. The fraternities were not that impressed by me. For the most part they found me to be unworthy of their approval. There was one that wanted me to join but for the most part I did not know the right people, make enough money, or have the right parents. I had a hard time making friends. It seemed that the same qualities that made me desirable (or not) to fraternities were in demand for friendship as well. I did not like my classes either. It seems that I chose poorly and did not realize it until it was too late. Everywhere I turned I found that I was unfit, unworthy, not desired, and not wanted. I was crushed.

This was not my first experience with being rejected. There were girls that I had asked out that had politely refused. There were sports teams that had declined to pick up my option. There were jobs that had found better applicants. Rejection was not an every day experience for me but I was certainly used to it by the time I went to college. Why did my college experience cause me so much more distress than the other rejections?

In retrospect, I think that I had unrealistic expectations of what life would be like when I was in college. I had wanted to go to the school of my choice for a long time before I was accepted there. I had idealized what it would be like and I was (quite simply) wrong. Looking back now it is easy for me to think that I should have adjusted my expectations. It would not have been what I wanted but I could have made due with what it was and got along OK. Rather than doing that I left- never to return and totally disillusioned with the whole experience. The real question is this: should I have had to readjust my expectations at all?

So what does this have to do with Mark Chapter 5?

There is a picture that is painted by the whole chapter that is not evident at first glance. We have the man possessed by demons roaming amongst the dead, the woman plagued by bleeding, and the dead girl. In each case Jesus stepped in and healed someone in a miraculous way. Each one of these people though would have been seen by the first century Jew as unworthy, unfit, unwanted, and unclean. Indeed, perhaps the central message of the Gospel is that each one of us is in our own way much like the central characters in this chapter. We are all unfit but Jesus has reached out to us and made us fit. We are all unwanted but Jesus desires us anyway.

I guess the question I have is why are so many of our churches today so ready to declare people unworthy and unfit and unwanted? This seems more in line with the message of the Pharisees that it does with the message of Christ. It seems to me that today we are still looking for reasons to exclude people from the good news rather than letting Jesus make them worthy. He does not make enough money. She is a liberal. He is a Jeff Gordon fan (joking). He drinks. She smokes. He cusses. Unclean, unfit, unworthy.

I heard a really good message the other day that included an allusion to Mephibosheth. Mephibosheth was a crippled man that nevertheless was an heir to the throne of Saul. When David took over as king he called for Mephibosheth and told him that he was always welcome at the King’s table. Here is the reply:

And he paid homage and said, "What is your servant, that you should show regard for a dead dog such as I?"
2 Samuel 9:8

Perhaps this is the response of every lost soul who has been found by the King. I know that it captures my sentiments pretty well. How can we so quickly turn from this wonder and astonishment to locking the doors to prevent any other dead dogs from wandering in? I imagine that many people today have an ideal of church that is not unlike my view of college. They would see church as a place where they could be accepted regardless of their flaws. My guess is that many who find this not to be true will likely leave- never to return. Can you imagine the demon possessed man returning to wander amongst the tombs once he had been healed? Somehow I don’t think that happened and yet people today are leaving churches to return the tombs they had escaped. We need to fix this.

What I found unusual about Mark Chapter 5 is that Jesus went to the unclean and made them clean. This was a scandal that eventually got Him killed yet He did it anyway. The church should be doing the same.

The "Good" Son

"Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, 'Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.' But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, but he answered his father, 'Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!'
(Luke 15:25-30)

I am not sure how many times I have read this parable and focused on the younger son. The one that was lost. I saw so much of him in my earlier life and was thankful to have a Father that had welcomed me back in spite of my failings. I am not proud of my time in a far off land but it is a part of my past.

As I grew in faith I wanted to be more like the Father in the parable. I wanted to demonstrate grace to others in my life even when they wished me dead. I wanted to be able to forgive no matter what they had done. I am afraid that I have fallen far short of the Father. It is not as easy to say all is forgiven as I had imagined. I pray when the time comes that I have the grace within me to say just that.

The “good” son is often overlooked in this parable. He comes across as ungrateful and I often associated him with people that I knew that looked down on others that were not as righteous as they were. He did not understand how the Father could forgive the “lost” son for the crimes that he had committed when he had been so faithful. He appears to believe that he has earned some part of his inheritance for his behavior.

When I look at this parable from a perspective of God’s grace I get a different picture than I used to. I now see that the “good” son was missing more than the gracious act of his father (toward the younger son). He was spending so much time and energy trying to earn the Father’s grace that he did not realize that he was walking in it all along.

It appears to me that I have become the “good” son of late and it breaks my heart that I have not appreciated the love the Father has for me. I have been stuck in a rut of self-righteousness where I have tried my best to justify why I deserve better than I have been getting. I am thankful for Godly advice from a great friend that has given me a time of refreshment.

And he said to him, 'Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.'"
(Luke 15:31-32)

There is great comfort in these words for me. Despite all my failings of late, the Father still has great love for me. What I love best about this parable is how I can so often find myself somewhere in it. Now that I have recognized my own issues with self-righteousness I find that I have wandered to the point where I need to return back to my Father. In becoming the older “good” son it seems that I have realized that I actually need to be more like the younger “lost” son and return to my Father’s house. I still strive to be like the Father. I want to be able to demonstrate grace in all seasons. There is far too much ungrace in this world for me to contribute to it. I ask forgiveness from any that I may have hurt and pray for healing. Pray with me.

Love and peace-
Bruce

P.S. So now these three things remain: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of these is love.

What do I need to do to be saved?

Please God, I am begging you, just tell me what I need to do. Just tell me what box to check so I can check it. I want to check the box. I want to make sure that I have done everything that I can so that I can be with you when I die. I want to be sure and lately I have not been so sure.

Some have told me that I do not spend enough time reading your word. How much time is enough God? Is one hour a day enough or will thirty minutes be okay? Should I spend every waking hour that I am not at work or spending time with my family reading the Bible? Is reading Christian literature about the Bible and about you okay to read or should I only read your word? Just tell me how much so I can check off this box. I want to check the box but I am not sure if I have done enough.

Others have told me that reading is not enough. I must study your word as well. I need to learn the native languages so I can understand the verses in their proper context. Do I need to be fluent in these languages or is it enough that I look up the Greek or Hebrew for confusing passages? How much study is enough? I need to know so that I can check the box God, but I am unsure if I have done enough.

Some have told me that I must give of my finances in order to be saved. How much do I have to give? Is a tithe sufficient? Is that before or after taxes? Does all the money have to go to my local church or can I use some of it to support missionaries? Does giving money to the widow and the orphan directly count or must it go through my local church body? Does my time that I spend serving count? How can I know when I have given enough? I want to make sure that I have done enough so that I can check the box? Please God, can you help me?

Yet others have told me that I must share your word with others in order to show that I am saved. Does leading by example count or must I actually share the Gospel with words? Does it count if I share the word with those in the church so that I am making disciples or must I go to the unchurched as well? How about apologetics? Does refuting the arguments of those that oppose you and giving them a reason for the hope that is in me count? Please tell me how much I need to do so I can check the box.

And then there are the commandments. Must I keep them all or do I only need to keep the big ten? Can I still check the box if I repent of my sins when I am made aware of them or must I be perfect? What if I sin and die before repenting? Am I lost with no hope or does my previous confessions and repentance count?

When Joshua led the Israelites into the Promised Land he was very prophetic. He told them to choose that day whom they would serve. They chose to serve the Lord and Joshua replied:

But Joshua said to the people, "You are not able to serve the LORD, for he is a holy God. He is a jealous God; he will not forgive your transgressions or your sins. If you forsake the LORD and serve foreign gods, then he will turn and do you harm and consume you, after having done you good."
(Joshua 24:19-20)

In looking at my partial list above I realize that I am unable to serve the Lord. At various times in my life I have tried very hard and ended up feeling as if I was further in debt than when I started. I can not do what is necessary to check the box. Even in those moments when I come close I tarnish my efforts with my pride. It appears that there is no hope for me ever doing enough to be saved.

Strangely, at the end of my efforts when all hope in self is lost, faith can be found. Faith in the Lamb of God who came to take away the sins of the world. Faith in the words of the Son of Man. Faith that when He said “It is finished” that he meant it. Faith that His death on the cross was sufficient to overcome my shortcomings. Faith that His resurrection guaranteed victory over death.

It is here that the humble realization takes place that there is nothing you can ever do that will be enough. It is here that you turn to God again and whisper your plea- I can not do this, please help me. If I am ever going to be saved Lord it is up to you and you alone for I am incapable. Here you understand the meaning of “It is finished” and realize that He already has helped you. It is here that your faith in self is transformed into faith in God.

Every once in a while we need a reminder of this. In spite of the efforts and the tears I am thankful for the reminder. My hope is in you God for all hope is lost if it is up to my efforts.

Peace.

A Graveyard Visit

I stopped at the graveyard on the way home from picking her up from school. We were looking for a grave marker. Something that would tell us who was buried there. We wanted to find one that included the name Joseph. We took separate paths and looked for about ten minutes before finding it. A clear marker letting all know that Joseph was buried here. It is certain that those who knew Joseph well also knew where this marker was. They knew where the tomb was because they knew who Joseph was.

Sometimes when we are reading scripture we overlook simple details that are rather mundane. Below is one example of such a mundane detail:

Joseph of Arimathea, a respected member of the Council, who was also himself looking for the kingdom of God, took courage and went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Pilate was surprised to hear that he should have already died. And summoning the centurion, he asked him whether he was already dead. And when he learned from the centurion that he was dead, he granted the corpse to Joseph. And Joseph bought a linen shroud, and taking him down, wrapped him in the linen shroud and laid him in a tomb that had been cut out of the rock. And he rolled a stone against the entrance of the tomb. Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Joses saw where he was laid.

(Mark 15:43-47)

There are a few things that we can note about this simple burial story. First to note is that Joseph was a member of the Council. This means that he was a member of the group that helped to send Jesus to His death. It is not likely that Joseph would have been a Christian invention. The resurrection claims could have been refuted quite simply with claims from the Jewish leaders that there was no such person. We do not have any records of such claims from the Jewish leaders.

In fact, we can go further to say that there are actually no competing burial stories at all. The silence of the Jews on this matter speaks loudly to the truth of the Gospel narrative. If Jesus were not buried in the tomb of Joseph then we would know. There would be some record claiming that He had been buried elsewhere but there are none. This may seem like a rather mundane detail but why is it important?

The earliest records we have are claims from the Jewish leaders that the disciples stole the body. Why would they make this claim? There was something that they were trying to explain. Something that they refused to believe but has given people hope for 2000 years. Think back to my trip to the graveyard. If the friends and relatives of that Joseph knew where he was buried, then how many more people would know where the tomb of a member of the Council would be? How many of them do you think went and checked the claims of the women and the disciples? How many of them were at a loss to explain how the body of a dead man could go missing? So they make up a story to try to keep the masses quiet.

Their story gives us a certain fact about the resurrection account. The lack of a competing burial story testifies to its truth. The standing of Joseph in the community completes our knowledge of one thing with certainty on that Sunday morning 2000 years ago.

The tomb was empty. Praise God, He is risen!

The Problem with Rob Bell

The Problem with Rob Bell

Don’t get me wrong. I actually like Rob Bell and I have no intention of bashing him in this blog. He is a truly gifted storyteller that comes across as being genuinely passionate for the lost. I do not think that he has written his latest book simply to make money or to lead people astray. In fact, I would go further to say that Rob Bell has at least done modern Christianity a favor by bringing a discussion to the table that most people are afraid to speak about.

I have participated in discussions with atheists and agnostics for a good number of years now. It is often easy to dismiss the questions and objections of both of these groups without giving it some serious thought. Serious thought leads to serious questions and apparently Rob Bell has at least been listening to this group. The first chapter in his new book is really not much more than a summation of arguments of an atheist acquaintance of mine.

These are serious questions. They are questions that should be addressed. I applaud Rob for bringing them to light. However, the wording of a question can often lead one to an emotional response. Rob has phrased these questions in such a manner as to create an emotional response in the reader. As a pastor and a voice in Christianity that many listen to, Rob should make his case from scripture for whatever point he would like to argue in favor of without manipulating the reader by emotional pleas. However, this is a minor complaint. He is not the only one to use such methods for persuasive purposes.

My real problem is actually the underlying message in the book. Believe it or not I am not talking about the universalism that is throughout the book. No, there is something else at heart here that needs to be addressed and universalism is merely a symptom.

Perhaps Rob has seen too much of Fred Phelps in the news and it has caused him to question the God of the Fred Phelps of the world. Perhaps this is what led him to write Love Wins. Surely God does not hate everyone that Fred Phelps hates, right? A God like that is not just. A God like that is not love. A God like that is not merciful. You see what really irritates people about Fred Phelps is that he judges everyone and it is not his place to say who gets to heaven and who does not.

Nor is it Rob Bell’s place to judge everyone and that is really the underlying problem for both Rob Bell and Fred Phelps (and ironically everyone who rushes to condemn either of them). You don’t see the similarity? Fred sees judgment and condemns. Rob sees love and pardons. Each is sitting in a place that is not theirs. It is God’s to forgive and to condemn and not ours and sometimes in the heat of the debate we forget this. Perhaps the largest component of faith in God is trust. Both Fred and Rob have assumed the role of judge and in doing so have abandoned trust in God.

There are questions about hell that should be addressed. It should not be a topic that is avoided like the plague. Rob actually asks some of the questions in his chapter on hell. However, he has also assumed his conclusions and then chosen scripture to support this conclusion. Once again, this shows (at least in my eyes) an underlying lack of trust in God.

I trust that whatever happens to me when I die that it will be a perfect display of God’s love and justice. I think that most people who have faith in God could agree with that statement. The great temptation for all of us is to assume that the same will not be true for everyone else. We see the tremendous acts of love in a friend and we have a hard time seeing how God could condemn anything that they do. We see an awful display of sin in someone and have a hard time seeing how God could possibly love such a person. This is because we are not God.

I imagine that this book will sell a lot of copies. If you are interested in reading it, I would recommend going to Barnes and Noble for a couple hours. It really is light material for the most part and an easy read. I hope that it fosters discussion rather than acrimony but I doubt that it will.